Friday, June 6, 2008

Grandparents Rant

So I go home yesterday and when I arrive my mom tells me that my grandfather(who is 87 years old - has horrible heart conditions - mulitple bypasses- constant chest pain, do you get the point) had a heart attack! She continued to tell me that it happened Tuesday(but hello, yesterday was Thursday - why didn't anyone tell me?). I asked her why she didn't tell me and she proceeds to state that my grandmother didn't want to call anyone because she thought he'd be out of the hospital quickly! She didn't want to bother us. HELLO? Bother us, I mean really.. As I started to get all teary-eyed I said to my mom that it is soooo unfair that my grandmother does this. (because it hasn't been the 1st time that he's been admitted to the hospital and she hasn't called) So i guess I shouldn't be surprised - but it makes me angry. What if something happened? What if he died? What if no one knew? What if my grandma was alone? What if I didn't get to say goodbye.? What I keep running over and over in my head is, "What if I didn't get to say goodbye?" I know people don't live forever. I know he has lived a long, happy life. And I know I will have to prepare myself, I guess in some ways I have. But it doesn't make it any easier.

I am leaving in a few minutes to go visit! And I think I'm going to have a talk with my grandma and let her know that it's not alright for her to not tell the family.

I know my mom already spoke to her - but still... I know she feels like she is "bothering" us but come on; we're family!! And if family can't be there in a time of need who will? Right?

Grrr...... The frustration and anxiety never ends, I swear!

My grandparents & I at my brother's wedding!

How I love him so......

7 comments:

Pam said...

I'm so sorry! I hope he if feeling better soon. I know it must be hard because your grandmother genuinely feels like she is bothering if she calls. But like you said- your family so it isn't a bother. I hope you can help her to understand that because you love them both so much- you want to know so you can help and be there with them.

Future Mom (Heather) said...

i have sort of the same dilemma going on...anytime my grandparents are in the hospital, fall down, etc. i hear about it like a week later from my mom on one of our random phone conversations. it's kind of like "hey by the way your grandpa fell off a roof last week while putting up siding and he broke his ribs." um excuse me?

i think they purposely wait a while to tell me because they know i hate hospitals so they wait till they are home to fill me in. i guess i am semi-ok with this idea considering it's kind of a normal occurence for them to get sick etc. however i would like to think that they would call in an emergency situation. hopefully nothing like that comes for a long time :)

hope your visit goes well & that you can explain yourself to your grandma and this type of stuff doesn't happen again. your grandparents are the cutest!

Auburn Kat said...

I've had something like that happen to me before and I FLIPPED OUT! I made it very clear that if someone is in the hospital I HAVE TO KNOW! In the end you end up worrying more when you aren't told what is going on like that!

I would definitely have a talk with your mom and grandmother about it and explain to your grandmother that you just want to know to be there to support her and your grandfather.

Amanda said...

I am sorry about your grandfather...and the dealings with the family not sharing info. We have situations like that in our family too and it drives me crazy. You are SO right about family - when it comes to one's health it should never be looked at as a bother....

Tipp said...

Gosh, watching your grandparents getting older is never easy!! I would be frustrated too, it is not ever a bother, but my grandparents look at things like this the exact same way.

One day it will be our parents, oh wait, I am already there. Sigh.

I am praying for your grandpa!!

EP said...

I am so sorry to hear that, Dana. I hope your visit went well and that he's feeling a little bit better.

It's scary when you realize your grandparents are getting older. My grandmother (who is 89) doesn't like to tell anyone about any medical problems she has. And that really scares me. So I know how you feel.

Momma On The Go said...

I'm so sorry to hear it. Hope your grandfather is feeling better as soon as possible. This sounds just like Justin's grandparents. They've hid medical issues more times than I can count. A few months ago we went to visit and Justin's grandmother stopped us at the door telling us not to get too close to Pop. "why" was obviously our first question. He had evidently not felt the need to tell us that he had prostate cancer. The only reason he decided to tell us was because the radiation seeds that had been implnated in him could be harmful towards Madison and me (because I'm pregnant). Even after that he wanted us to promise not to tell the rest of the family. Umm I don't think so!