Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Right To Be Mad?

This is going to sound like it's me because everyone starts off "i have a friend" but I promise it's not! I have this friend from work who always snoops(goes through his phone, email, pockets, etc) on her boyfriend. Not because she doesn't trust him and not because she thinks he's cheating on her just because she is curious, so she says! I keep telling her to be careful because one day - if she keeps it up - he's going to see her snooping and get pissed... They have only been together a year and a half so I guess I can understand the curiousity. At that stage you are still learning about your significant other more and more every day. I've been with Brian for 6 1/2 years and though I know him front and back and could make his next move for him - I still find myself learning new things.
So anyway, my friend was telling me that when she was snooping she found something she didn't like! When I asked what it was she wouldn't tell me! (Maybe she thought I'd Blog about it - LOL!) She said it wasn't anything horrible - just something that mad her a little angry! Now my advice was that you can't really be mad because it wasn't something meant for you to see! Right? I also told her that there is a reason she is snooping - come on going through his pockets to see what you can find! I only go through Brian's pockets before the laundry because if I don't I usually have 30 screws or bolts that get washed and make loud noises - and once the machine gets started it's really really hard to get them out!
So here is my question: If you snoop do you have a right to be mad for what you find? (besides cheating, we all know that cheating gives anyone and everyone a right to be mad) I don't know is she really has the right when she shouldn't have been doing this in the 1st place, ya know!
P.S. - I really wish I knew what he did! I'm so bad.......

18 comments:

Tipp said...

I think if you aquire information by a dishonest means you have no right to be upset at people who you assume to be doing dishonest things or behavior. But that is just me and it has not happened to me and perhaps I would do something totally different in the moment, so I guess I don't really know!

Mama's Losin' It said...

Maybe you could dig around a little and find out what it was. I'm SOOO curious!!

She definitely sounds insecure in their relationship. When you're dating I don't think you have a right to get mad about something you dug around for...you'll end up looking a little psycho.

When you're married whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine. There shouldn't be anything to dig through and you shouldn't feel the need to dig. If you do then somethings up.

In short. No. She doesn't have a right to get mad. Now go find out what it was...

classy & fabulous said...

yeah snooping around is never a good idea..not to say Ive never done it in my life(woops) but not like that at all! I am def. curious about what she found though..hmm

But if she is mad, its not llike she can talk to her bf about it cuz then he'll find that she's been snooping..hmm..

Auburn Kat said...

I've been there before! I snooped on my ex all the time and I had every reason too!!! I really think that she has a reason to snoop otherwise she wouldn't. My ex would lie to me all the time and that's how I found out by checking his email. That's how I finally found out that he took another girl to Vegas for vacation while we were leaving together. Of course dumb me took him back and he told me I could always look at his email, etc after that, so I did. I freaking caught him AGAIN cheating on me.

Pam said...

well, I would want to know too----because now I am so curious myself! ;)

I don't think she has a right to be mad because she is the one doing something wrong.

La Petite Belle said...

ok, this may or may not have happened to me, but if you snoop, you shall find. trust me, happens everytime. tell her not to snoop- if she has doubts about her boyfriend she should be honest and tell him. now please beg her to tell you what she found, though! I WANNA KNOW! haha

Amanda said...

I look at it like this - she doesn't have a right to be mad since she was snooping. If she is snooping there is most likely a reason and although it may not be a reason he gave her - it could just be the insecurity she feels from something in a previous relationship...SO she should be careful or she will screw up what she has with the current guy over no real anything.

Sizzle said...

Snooping to me usually means a lack of trust and definitely a lack of self-esteem. If we love someone we should respect their privacy. You know what they say about curiosity? It killed the cat. She's playing with fire.

If she does get mad about what she finds out, he has equal right to be pissed that she was a snoop.

Ashley said...

I'm a snooper. I admit it. (I've found bad things...and one really, really good thing that ruined a surprise...) Email, voicemail, pockets. It's bad - I don't do it now that I'm married, but when we lived 3 time zones apart, I honestly had reason to.

It's interesting to hear other people's opinions. I admit I did it because I was curious, jealous, and found bad things in the past...

And I sure as hell would get mad if I found out something bad!! :)

Marni Tiani Self said...

I think it totally depends on the information. But she really shouldn't be snooping.

Marni Tiani Self said...

.... I didn't say I never did it! ;-)

Christy said...

I guess it depends on what she found. Yes, she shouldn't have been snooping, but what she found might still be bad enough to get angry over.

I have been with John for almost 11 years, and I could care less what is in his pockets.

livin with me said...

It sounds to me like she is awfully insecure. I never snooped around in Rich's stuff, even when we were first together because he didn't hide stuff from me. Is her boyfriend hiding something from her? He must be doing something to make sure suspicious. I wish I knew what she found.

Katelin said...

i think that whatever you find snooping you don't really have the right to mad about since you shouldn't be snooping in the first place. and you're really that curious about your significant other you should just ask them and trust them enough to tell you the truth.

Anonymous said...

Ok...I have no comment as I've snooped in the past myself...I'm not proud of it but I did...and I'm happy to say that I never found anything that angered me. Which is why we've been together for almost 17 years.

Now...You MUST find out what she found...seriously...I don't know this person but I will lose sleep over this...I.MUST.KNOW...

I'm sick...I know...

THopgood said...

I have no idea why that showed up as anonymous...but I'm not anonymous...I'm Tammy...

=)

THopgood said...

PS...love the bloggy make over. Very cute and sassy!

EP said...

Oh, man. I wish I knew what happened, too! Because I'm nosy like that. But not in a snooping way.

As far as snooping is concerned, I agree with Tipp -- if you get the information by being dishonest, you have NO right to complain or be upset by it. It wasn't meant for your eyes.