Saturday, May 24, 2008

When It Rains It Pours

So I've been a little down lately and I really can't explain why! I have this lonely feeling - and it sucks!

I once told Brian that I felt that God doesn't want good things to happen for me. He got really upset by that statement - but sometimes I feel that way. I wonder when good things will happen to me? When will it be my turn?

I know that I've been stressed at work - I feel like I get little support in all aspects of my job - and I'm sure this is weighing heavily on my shoulders since I spend so much time at work. Grrr..... I know this is adding to my stress!

I've also been having horrible anxiety attacks.. I've been trying to relax and fell good about myself - but sometimes it's hard! Anxiety attacks really bring about the worst feelings. I ahte them and hope soon that they will go away forever! I am thankful however that I have my Blog and all of my Bloggy friends to share my thoughts with.Sometimes I just want to rant and rave without hearing someone talk back to me, ya know.... I really think I could use a nice, loooong, relaxing vacation on an Island somewhere where my cell phone doesn't ring. I'd love to go away to get away from it all; lay on the beach with Brian and drink Pina Coladas until I can't see straight or remember
why I was depressed.

Ya know what else drives me insane - I got my tax rebate check $600.00 YAY.. Too bad I'm going to have to spend at the dentist beacause I cracked my tooth and I don't have dental insurance.. See what I mean - when it rains it pours!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the life I have.. I love my family and friends - I've just been feeling a little down.


Marni Tiani Self said...

That is in no way ungrateful.

This coming from a girl who is too quite often called ungrateful.

Hang in there, I feel your pain.

Anxiety has taken over on my body often lately. I have strong moments and sad...

And remember... what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. At least that's what I like to believe.

Mamarazzi said...

girl, i think we have all been there. you should not feel guilty or bad for feeling blue. sometimes it seems that little black rain cloud follows me everywhere i go.

something that ALWAYS makes me feel better is doing something nice for someone else. it can be any little silly thing, but there is something about making someone smile that tends to perk me right up.

i OFTEN have a hard time focusing on what is going right in my life. it seems the stuff that is going wrong, so very wrong, seems to stick out more than the good stuff. i am learning to pay attention to the good stuff and i am finding out that what you pay attention to's true. when i focus on the good stuff more good stuff pops up, its like i am opening myself up for it. and when i focus on the yuck stuff then all of the sudden i am overwhelemed with yuck and have a REALLY hard time getting myself out of my yuck funk!

anyway...looks like you have lots and lots of friends who can help hold you up till ya feel like your self again...but i am here too, if ya wanna talk and all!

feel better...sending good happy thoughts your way and a (((HUG)))

Ashley said...

Oh, sweetie - I completely feel your pain.

I am so lonely right now, too.

Yes, I have a great husband, yes I have a fantastic family...but something is missing.

Hang in there, keep your chin up, and KNOW that God wants wonderful things for you. :)

Maybe they're not the things you think you need - but relax and know that God loves you and wants you to be happy. Period.

Pam said...

I'm so glad you shared that with us! That is one great thing about a blog- you can let it out! I often feel this way everything that happens is a challenge and why can't it just be easier. I wish I had an answer for you. But I can offer a should if you ever need someone to lean on!

Dan Mega said...

All downs have their ups too.

It could be worse ya know ;)

Danielle said...

Awe sweetie. Eliza and I love you and I know how you feel. Sometimes it is so hard to stay positive. Anxiety is a killer. I have been struggling with it since I was just a kid and it can comsume you. We are here if you need us. I can't promise you an island or Pina Colodas but I can promise to listen!

Kathy said...

I was just having a similar conversation with my dinner last night actually. It was kind of a quiet dinner and we talked a little about some things he did that irritated me and when he asked me what was wrong with me I said "I'm just not happy and I don't know why..." and started crying right there in the middle of the restraunt. We talked a lot of it out and I'm wondering if my issues stem from an IUD I had put in a couple months ago...some of the side effects are anxiety/depression and moodiness. Check. Check. And check. It's a crappy feeling. I think talking about it helps though. Hopefully you have people you can lean on...if not, I find that blogging is a great resource!!

Melanie said...

I have been feeling so blue lately too. I can't really put my finger on the reason. I mean there's little things here and there.... but for the most part I know I have it pretty good and that I should be thankful and happy. But, I just feel so sad.

EP said...

I know how you feel, too. After the excitement of moving settled, I was left in this huge apartment by myself and no friends anywhere near. :/ It's no fun, but since I'm an optimist, I believe things will get better for us both.

When it rains, it pours. Yes, but don't let it get your head down. And don't think God doesn't want good things for you. Everything happens for a reason, and soon enough, you'll be seeing the good that came out of this bad stint.