Friday, October 3, 2008

That's Just Not Me

According to Webster's New World Dictionary & Thesaurus the word ultimatum means - a final offer or demand, as in negotiations.
Yesterday Brian & I were together for 7 years. I know what most of you are thinking, 7 years - where's the ring!?! Are you guys gonna get married?
I will tell you one thing - I'm happy; very, very happy! Do I want to get married? yes!! Will it happen? yes!! Am I going to give him an ultimatum? NO!! That's just not me!
I'm not one of those girls that will do that - and I know some of you may be thinking - you're getting older, you've been together for such a long time, yada yada yada!!! And It's easy to say it if your looking from the outside because it doesn't directly affect you! But things are much easier said then done!
What I do know is that I want him to propose to me because he wants to, not because he feels forced to because I might leave him! Who wants that? I know I don't! I know that I want to feel wanted! Who wants to look back and say - "my husband proposed to me because I put the smack down and gave him an ultimatum!"
You'll never know if he really wanted to marry you - or felt pressured to marry you!! When it happens it'll be right!
I think once I land a better paying job and Brian sells his building things will start to come around for us! It's hard because I've been getting hit in all different directions with the question "when?" "When is it going to happen?" And like I mentioned before, if I knew I'd let you know! People don't realize it's a little offensive - If I knew don't you think I'd share that info!?! And besides it's putting "getting engaged" on my brain!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............


Tracy said...

Ok so when are you having a baby? Sorry, just kidding :-) Hate to say but the questions never end. Our latest round of questions is either "When will you try for a boy" or "so your done now right". It can definatley get annoying but the people that ask probably just care about you. Gotta put a positive spin on it some how right?

Amanda-The Family News! said...

i get it too... of course our situation is a bit different. My Brian and I will be together for 8 years in January.. After 5 1/2 years together we had our first child...and then 2 weeks after our 7 year anniversary we had Lauren. We are not married either... We have every intention too, but just haven't yet. It's like we are married all the time. At least now that the kids are here most people think we are married and they just ask now if we are going to have any more kids....

Pam said...

I think you have the right attitude about it all. You want to know he wanted to marry you and not wonder once you are married. If you are happy- stick with it. If it ain't broken, don't fix it, right?

Auburn Kat said...

When I was with my ex I used to get questions like that all the time.

Ya know, you are absolutely right, every relationship is different. Some get engaged in just a month while others get engaged ten years down the road. Everyone has their own path in life and as long as YOU are happy, that's it that matters!

Mama Smurf said...

It'll all work out when it's suppose to.

Danielle said...

7 years! I always think of you and Bri when my birthday rolls around. and that night at Groove. As long as you are happy that is all that matters! I fixed my button if you want to change it on your site. sorry I haven't called you back- been busy with E!

Christy said...

Sounds frustrating. Before I got pregnant with Porgie, everyone kept asking us when were going to have a baby. It was super irritating.

Giovanna Diaries said...

Good for you. I'll admit, my bff, just got engaged last Christmas after 10+ years of dating the same guy. And I annoyed the crap out of her AND him w/the whens. I was just so nervous that it wasn't gonna happen. But thank the lord it did. And now we can all stop bugging them.
But I do have to say, it would be kinda fun if you did tell people that "I gave him a smack down and an ultimatum and now we're in wedded bliss."

Anna said...

I know how you feel. I've been with Mike for 7.5 years and people keep asking when we are getting married too. We will get married one of these days, the time just isn't right right now.

Missy said...

You know, you can never make people happy. My husband and I got married when we were 19, and people just kind of shook their heads and sighed because we were so young and obviously we didn't know what we were doing... and, like someone else said, as soon as you do get married, they will start asking when you plan on having kids!

I think you are absolutley right though - you want him to ask you because he realy WANTS to marry you, not because he feels forced to.

thatShortChick said...

really, you shouldn't be made to feel like you have to explain yourself and your relationship all the time.

last time i checked, it was just you&brian. you guys know what you're doing.

Ashley said...

It's hard when you want something and being asked about it doesn't make it any better.

:( You ROCK.

sequined said...

You definitely have the right attitude about this. I'll bet it's SUPER frustrating, but the only people whose opinions really matter are yours and your boyfriend's. So don't let them get to you too much!

Amanda. said...

Good. When it's time,
there will be a ring.
And you'll come on here
gushing with excitement
and all the beautiful
details...and of course
pictures of your stunning
ring. CLEARLY!

But until then, you're
happy. So stay happy.
My brother dated the same
girl for eight years
before proposing. And
now they are happily
married with a baby on
the wayyy!

I'm happy for you, and
your good vibes and
positive waysss!

EP said...

Amen! You have such a great attitude about this, and more women need to share your point of view. Seriously. It's refreshing.

La Petite Belle said...

i know what you mean, and i think it's wonderful that you're not pushing him. I, however, would be a total biotch.. haha