Friday, November 21, 2008


Hello everyone, the lovely Dana has asked me, Auburn Kat to post while she is hopefully winning lots of money in Vegas. I won't mention the fact that I'm extremely jealous!!! This is my first guest post ever, so please humor me if it's not good!

Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for being in a relationship or not.

When my ex and I broke up I made a commitment to myself that I would not get into another relationship for one year so I could find out who the real me was again. Well, my one-year was officially up a couple of weeks ago. Not surprisingly, I had no issue in accomplishing my goal. I definitely have found who I am as a person and you could say that I was a bit of an over achiever in the not getting involved in another relationship department seeing as I've been on a total of zero dates in the last year. Yes, you read that right, zero dates. Granted, there was a couple of what I consider non-dates but nothing else, definitely nothing serious.

Now that my year is up, I'm not sure if I want to be in a relationship. Maybe it's all of the bad memories that I have from my previous relationship that still leaves a bad taste in my mouth? Maybe it's the fact that I haven't met anyone who lives in the same zip code, let alone same area code as I do that I find remotely interesting and attractive. Maybe life just seems less stressful by not being in a relationship? It's definitely not that I still want to be with my ex because I don't.

What is it? Why don't I want to be in a relationship? The only answer that I can come up with is that right now, I'm pretty happy with where my life is and I'm completely content with going to bed alone. Some people always have to be in a relationship and I'm just not one of them.

Then again, if the right guy tries to convince me otherwise, I'm sure I could be persuaded!


Auburn Kat said...

Thanks for asking me!

Louise said...

Hey there
Great post...
I can see where you are coming from, even though I have now been married for almost 11 years.(.eeek that sounds like a long time and I am only almost 32) my single life wasn't very long but I found the right guy for me when I wasn't looking for who knows girl he could be right around the next bend, and if not you are still enjoying your life being YOU!!! and THAT is fantastic!!
Have an awesome day :)

Mandy said...

Ohh Guest Blogging is always fun!

I haven't been in a fully comitted relationship for a long long time and I like it that way. Commitment terrifies me. I am perfectly content on my own. Sure a Prince Charming would be nice, and if he comes along great, but if not thats fine too. I've never understood the need to jump from relationship to relationship. I have friends who haven't been alone since they were young teenagers.

Lily said...

Enjoyed your guest post! Kudos to you for sticking with a plan like that for self-discovery!

Anonymous said...

Love the post Kat. I'm with you. After I got out of a long relationship, I had to take some time for myself. It's been 3 years. I think I may be able to let go of my apprehensions, but I'm still scared out of my mind.

La Petite Belle said...

Love your post! I think maybe (just my opinion) you don't feel that you want to be in a relationship because you don't really know what you're missing until you meet that special someone. Especially since you mentioned you've had bad experiences before, the one has not come along yet, and you WILL love it when he does come along. I would suggest getting yourself out there, not to find the one but rather to just do it for yourself, and then before you know it, you'll meet that special someone without wanting or trying to!

Matt said...

This was a great guest post!!

I understand why you would make a promise to yourself and I know you're the type of person who follows commitments all the way through but...

sometimes in life you need to be spontaneous. Get out there. Have some fun and go with the flow.

just my opinion. Again, great post Kat...def one of your best I think!

Jessica said...

I love this post. I just got out of a long term relationship (well 2 months ago, but that's still fairly new) and I am definitely learning SO MUCH ABOUT ME and it's only been 2 months..It's crazy but i was a totally different person when I was with him.

I'm scared though that I won't find someone new, and if I do..I won't be able to be myself again. Ahhh, life.

Tipp said...

I think your first time posting was a great success! It took me way over a year to get over my big heartbreak. You will know when you are ready.

Kelly said...

Good post, Kat! Have a good weekend.

EP said...

I don't think there's anything wrong for just being content with yourself and where you are right now. When the time is right, that guy will walk into your life and sweep you off your feet.

It took me a year to get over my awful breakup. It was horrible. My boy waltzed into the picture around that time. It's been wonderful since.

Don't lose hope!

Lys said...

Great guest post!!! You have gone far this year and kudos to you on setting your goals and reaching them.

Sarah Elizabeth said...

I'm a little late posting on this, but thanks Auburn Kat for guest blogging! I have been in a relationship rut for a while too, especially dealing with boy complications right now.

But I'm completely envious that you are content in not having a boyfriend. I went solo for a while after a 5 year relationship, and got to the point where I was comfortable without someone. However, I think I've fallen back into my need-a-guy mode. I need to get out of that.

I would say if you are happy now, definitely ride it out. If Mr.Right is out there, you will find him. Until then, it is great that you are in a good place. Don't try too hard to change it or else you may wind up unhappy.

Sorry for such a long comment!